Saturday, October 24, 2015

Project Heal: Capture Your Grief: Choose Your Breath

In an effort to ease my hurting heart this Fall, I am participating in Project Heal: Capture Your Grief . It's a photography/storytelling project to honor the babies we've lost.

Day 24: Choose Your Breath 

Today's topic is about where I am in my grief journey.
Well, I'm almost 10.5 years out, time-wise. This picture was over five years ago, when I was at my worst...I was in Texas, miserable...nobody understood the way I felt and why I was so miserable and why I wasn't "over it" yet.
There was so much anger in my heart then. So much resentment. I was dealing with grief in the most unhealthy way possible. My heart was broken. My marriage very nearly was.
I still  have days that find me melted against a wall in the kitchen, quietly crying, after everyone goes to bed. I still have days where that anger rears its ugly head, and I let it.
So much healing has taken place since that picture was taken, and especially since we moved to North Carolina.
I'm no longer afraid of my grief. I'm no longer afraid to speak her name. I'm no longer afraid to reach out to someone who is grieving and offer a helping hand.
I can pour out all of that sadness, and all of that grief, and all of that anger into beautiful things. I can put that energy into helping others heal.

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