Tuesday, May 1, 2018

I am so ready.


My older sister sent me some pictures of us from her wedding day, almost 18 years ago.

I look so different. Yes, part of it is I'm almost 18 years older, I've carried 5 pregnancies, I have two living children, I work ALLLLLLL the time, I'm pumping for Josie...

But Oh goodness. I hate what I see in the mirror. I hate my weight.

I've decided to revive my weight loss blog, which took one hell of a hiatus while I carried Josie and dealt with the sleepless nights of infancy.

Back then, me staying sane and dealing with one thing at a time was more important than my weight.

But, you guys, I am ready.

I am SO READY to take my life back and to love myself again.

Monday, April 23, 2018

Happy Homemaker Monday: April 23, 2019

Happy Monday! It's a new week and I'm ready to kick butt!

Breakfast time, what's on the plate this morning: A leftover stuffed pepper. My hate for breakfast food at breakfast time is real.

On this week's to do list: Declutter, Declutter, DECLUTTER!!!

Currently Reading: 31 Days to a Happy Mom by Arlene Pellicane. I'm loving it so far!

On the TV this week: Hell's Kitchen, and more Hell's Kitchen. Call me crazy, but I love me some Chef Ramsay.

The weather outside is: It's raining cats and dogs right now. Last week, we had an almost 80 degree day AND snow another day. C'mon, weather get it together!!!

On the menu this week: I'm making Chicken Stew tonight because it's so cold and awful and rainy and windy out. Not sure what the week will bring, but I've got a lot of meat in the freezer to use up, so we shall see.

If I have a few minutes to myself, I will: Take a long, hot shower.

What I'm creating: Beaded skull bracelets with Ella. Just as soon as I get some thinner elastic.

New Recipe I tried, or want to try this week: I made a pesto pasta on Saturday night, with "zoodles" and it was darn good.

From my camera: 

my kids are crazy, y'all.

Bible verse, devotional: 

Have an amazing week, friends!
Go forth and kick butt!!!!

Monday, April 16, 2018

On the subject of my Dad

Dad's a great man.
Often funny.
Seldom serious.
Always genuine.
He's been my hero since I was 8 and could live with him full-time. Before that, he was living in the US and my Mom and siblings were living in Poland.
When I was learning English, Dad was pretty military and hardcore about me learning new words. It's one of the only times when I wasn't very fond of him, ha.
Today, I'm grateful for that. Nobody has any clue that English isn't my first language and it's because Dad was so crazy about me learning the language and learning it well.

Easter, 2010.
Neither of us is terribly photogenic.

When Dad was first diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2013, I didn't hold it together well at ALL. Just ask my husband's friend, the cop, who saw me out running at 3 in the morning, sobbing my heart out. Dad constantly harangued me about family peace and family togetherness, even while he was in the hospital, days away from undergoing a transplant.

Vacation, 2016.
Still as unphotogenic as ever.

Fast forward to this past winter. I said some pretty insensitive things that caused a lot of family turmoil. Dad lectured me pretty harshly, and I was pretty mad. (even though the lecture was damn well deserved). I was immature, and we didn't speak for about a week. I wasn't speaking to anyone. Not him, not my Mom, not my siblings.

One Thursday, at work, I missed a phone call from my sister. The second time she called, I was able to pick up. Dad was in the ER. Nobody knew what was going on. Family disagreements fell by the wayside, nobody slept that night, and the next day dawned a new beginning for this family.
The terrifying beginning of finding out exactly what was wrong with Dad.
The beginning of strengthening of family bonds between my Mom, my sister, and me.

Dad went through a terrible ordeal. In and out of the hospital. Treatments for one thing, only to find out the cancer was back. A bout of C.Diff. Doctors not knowing if treatment would work because cancer coming back in this way is rare. Being told that this was their "last resort." An episode of "swimming away" during a treatment.

My Mom and I have never been close. My sister and I have had periods of time where we've been close, and periods of time where we haven't. Most of that is my personality. During one of our phone calls while he was in the hospital, Dad lectured me again, this time more gently.

"This is about family."
"Everybody needs to get along and love each other."

I don't know exactly when the ice melted. I can't recall the exact moment.
Suddenly, phone calls to my Mom are looked forward to and filled with jokes and laughter.
My sister and I, busy as we both are, find time to text one another funny things. She shares my sarcastic sense of humor.

What hits hard, is Dad was lying in a hospital bed, battling cancer for the second time, weak, tired...and his main thought was US. His wife. His kids. His grandchildren.

my parents with Ella, 2010

My Dad loves children. He loves his children. He loves OUR children (his grandkids). He hasn't met Josie yet, but he will. He asks about my girls all the time and looks at their pictures often. Ella adores her Pop-Pop. She fondly recalls our 2016 trip to Wisconsin.

my parents with Ella, 2016

Dad told me recently that he sees this man at the Family Dollar in his town. This man has two grand-daughters, "one big, one little." He says that this guy always hangs out with his grand-daughters and that he's kind of envious of him. He really really really wants to meet Josie. It's happening, and sooner than he thinks!!! :)

Dad and Ella, 2016

There's only one thing left to say about this amazing guy.

He's defied the odds once again.
The "last ditch effort" WORKED.
The tumors are barely there.
Thank you all for the prayers, God has surely heard them!!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Monthly Self Care Project: April

April 11, 2018
Since my last selfie post, we've found out that Dad's tumors are shrinking which is AMAZING news, and explains why I didn't mind taking a picture today.
Also, since last post, I've lost about 5 pounds and gained a new self-love.
Onward and upward!

Monday, April 9, 2018

Happy Homemaker Monday: April 9, 2018

Oh my goodness. I've been MIA a while, I know.
I honestly haven't felt much like writing anything what with my Dad in the hospital.
The latest is: we're not out of the woods right now, but he is well enough to be released from the hospital.
My Mom and I, while our relationship has always been touch and go, seem to have found a new happy place and I look forward to our daily phone calls.
I'm hoping to get back into blogging, and to regain my sanity.

Breakfast time, what's on the plate this morning: Potato and cheese pierogi. Breakfast food often makes me sick in the morning, so I prefer it for dinner. 

On this week's to do list: OH BOY. Literally everything, as I've been mostly away this weekend, looking after my boss's house while he saw his son in Winston Salem. So, all the house work, all the laundry, all the cooking. Oh, man. 

Currently reading: My Bible, and my camera manual. I got a new camera in February. It's pretty big and bad, and I'm still getting used to everything. 

On the T.V. this week: Hinterland. I swear, nobody does dark crime like the British. I finished Happy Valley (can season 3 please come out, please please PLEASE) and fell in love with Catherine Cawood. I felt bereft after it finished, and Hinterland came up as a suggestion. I've only seen one whole episode (as I mostly watch when pumping), and it was so so goood! 

The weather outside is: Insane. It's April 9th and we have SNOW. 

I have thyme coming up outside and this is what it looks like right now. Thankfully, it seems to be melting, but uggggh. Come on, April showers are NOT meant to be SNOW showers. 

On the menu this week: I have absolutely no idea. I will be more on track later this week, I promise. 

If I have a few minutes to myself, I will: Start on artwork for sale. Trying to sell what I can so I can go home and visit Dad next month. 

What I'm creating: The aforementioned artwork and a headband for Josie's 11 month photo shoot (how the heck is that even this month?!)

New recipe I'm trying this week: I haven't even looked in my freezer in 3 days, you guys. Ha. 

Favorite photo from the camera: 

We released some butterflies last weekend. 

Bible Verse, Devotional: 

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Monthly Self Care Project: March

 March 11, 2018

I was at Michael's and I was alone. My girls were with Gabe. I had debated taking some time and putting on makeup and what not, and taking this picture later this afternoon, but decided against it. 
This is reality, and sometimes, reality ain't pretty. As most of you know, my Dad's battling multiple myeloma again. 
My kids both have the cold, my husband has the cold, and I have it too. 
I'm in the process of spring cleaning my house, and I work ridiculous hours and I just don't have time for makeup and primping and that's okay. 
Do you know why it's okay? 
Because I'm still standing.
Because my family is fed and happy, despite their cold. 
Even though you can't tell in the picture, my shirt says "Strong Like Me", and I do feel strong, because my strength comes from God. 
I decided to take the picture in front of these silk flowers because even though I don't feel very pretty right now, they sure are.

Monday, March 5, 2018


This is our 3rd year raising Painted Lady butterflies. In 2016, I thought it would be a cool thing to try "just this once."

My daughter, of course, fell in love with watching them emerge from the chrysalis, and last year, we did it again. I was pregnant and it had even more meaning for me.

6 days after our release, I gave birth to Miss Josie.

Our 2018 batch of caterpillars arrived last week. They are sitting pretty on top of my mantel (don't worry, I don't turn the fireplace on with them up there), watched over by my "Chrysalis" Willow Tree Angel.

Stay tuned for weekly updates!

And remember...