Monday, September 30, 2013

Little Moments.

Did life ever get so rushed that you forgot to breathe? Today, after (home) school and morning/afternoon chores, Gabe took Ella out to run errands with him. Leaving me completely.alone. So, I sat down at the table and this is what I saw.

Coupons, to-do list, cookbooks, even my dumb phone had new texts on it. Ugh.

I even had two crockpots going at once. Some days, I swear...I need to write "breathe" on my to-do list, otherwise it will never get done. After their errands, Gabe and Ella came home with a surprise. It totally made my heart melt. My 30th birthday is this Thursday, and while I don't care about turning 30, I also don't care for birthdays. I have always, always wanted one of these.

Looking at this sign, it makes me realize just how much God has already blessed my family. Even though I am stressed to the gills sometimes. Even though sometimes it seems like all I do is work, in one capacity or another, at my paid job or at my home. He gives me the energy I need to get up each and every morning and do my work. He gives me the wisdom to teach my child. He gave my husband a job.  He gave us a house to live in where I can hang this sign! Most importantly, He gave us the opportunity to be in fellowship with Him. I overlook that fact so much.
I'm promising myself that I won't overlook these little moments anymore: my morning prayer time, the way Ella's face lights up when she masters a hard math problem, my husband's easygoing smile...I have so many blessings. I don't want to overlook a single one.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Happy Fall, Ya'll.

I love Fall. Really. God's creation undergoes an amazing change, and the food. Oh, my goodness, the food!!!

This has been an amazing week. We are all moved in to our new place, and for the most part are as happy as clams. Sparrow, our cat, was a bit suspicious of the new place, but quickly got used to it and is now loving life.

God has shown Himself to us this week in wonderful ways. First, Ella woke up fever-free on Monday morning. Then, yesterday, while we were stressing about a bill, a man came to our door and handed us that EXACT amount. Also, a washer and dryer was delivered to us last night. It had been paid for by a member of our church. This afternoon, a wonderful church friend came by and gave us a gift card for groceries. I was able to help someone with a bill that they needed to pay.

Ella and I went out and took Fall photos today. I used the flower display at Lowe's Foods as a backdrop, because I'm cheap and stingy. We got some strange looks, but the photos are definitely worth it.

I don't know what it is about this Fall, but I definitely feel a change. I want to do better. To BE better. I want to scream and shout from the rooftops that prayer WORKS. About a year and a half ago, I bought a devotional book entitled "He is Real." I am seeing how real He is every day.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

It's not Him, it's me.

Sunday night, with a sick kid in the next room, I broke down and cried. God, why aren't you listening? She's sick. She has a high fever. It's scaring me.

Clearly, this was a breakdown in communication somewhere. I was praying. Begging. And He wasn't listening. Right?

No. I was praying, all right. A very, very selfish prayer. Heal her. Yes. Not listening to any reply he may have.  I went to my husband with my fears. What if something happens? What if this fever doesn't break? What if the doctor can't help her? What if? What if? What if?

And then, my husband, who until very recently had been out of church, (but is the whole reason I became a Christian...more on that another day), began to pray.

"Heavenly Father," he said, "Our child is very sick, and my wife is very worried. We know You can do anything and heal anyone. For Your glory, we ask You to please heal Ella."

I began crying again. Because I had been praying wrong. Because I had all of this so, so wrong. The breakdown in communication wasn't Him. It was me. In my selfishness, I had closed off all receptiveness to Him.

Sunday night, Ella received a dose of medicine, with my full expectation of a trip to the doctor's (O me of little faith). Six hours later, I tip-toed across the house to feel her forehead. Cool. I went back to bed, expecting to be woken up by a feverish child. Yesterday, after school, she began to look a little weak-eyed, and I thought, "Oh, here we go" as I told her to go lay down. Within an hour, she was asking for chicken soup. I felt her forehead again. Cool. Huh.

By last night, she had devoured 2 bowls of chicken soup and a sandwich. The fever never came back. Last night, with a sleeping child in the next room, I opened my Bible and began to cry again. Because He is so good. He is better to me than I deserve. He saved my soul. He saved my life. He gave me a husband who treats me like gold. A family. A church family who is unbelievably supportive. So, so much that I don't deserve.

This isn't about me, and my wants. This is about me using my prayer life, and my life in general to glorify my Lord and Savior.

Monday, September 23, 2013

I'm alive!!!!

Really. I promise I am. We moved. (FINALLY). With the help of great friends and our church family, we are no longer residents of Nelson Road. I haven't felt the greatest (thank you, stress) and Ella's been feeling unwell too. (Which adds to the stress)

I know I've been neglecting this blog. Hopefully, that will stop. No promises though.

Ella seems better today, and I'm breathing a sigh of relief. I hate to see her not feel well. That kid is my pride and joy.