Rambling, mostly.

Three years ago, we moved to North Carolina. My husband and I hated each other's guts, I wanted a divorce in the worst way, and we were all around unhappy. Ugh. It took three years, some major arguments and a long painful walk back to Christ for both of us to fix ourselves first, and our marriage second. Here we are now, on the verge of a move back to Chicago.

I hate moving. Haaaaate it. With a mad passion. My husband will also tell you that I am the worst mover in the entire universe. I want to box up everything and sort it "when we get there." I can imagine how much this annoys him. Heck, it annoys me too. But, you know, we do what we have to. I am in the painful process of "sorting" right now, ugh.

My main worry is how this move will affect Ella. By the time I was nearing her age, I had moved across one ocean, and then had to move again. Blah. Did I mention I hate moving? Before coming to North Carolina, we were not the most stable family. My marriage out and out SUCKED. I was not a good Mom. Gabe was not a good Dad. We were not good people. The fact that we are celebrating 7 years of marriage tomorrow is a flippin' miracle.

During our 3-year stay in the great state of NC, by God's grace, we've managed to wake up and rediscover the Lord and the fact that we love each other and we can be pretty cool parents, too. Ella has thrived and flourished and is a really cool little kid. I almost don't want to mess with that. However....

My Dad has cancer. North Carolina is not my home, and truth be told, it isn't Gabe or Ella's home either. Gabe and I began our great love affair (ha!) in the Chicagoland area. Ella, while born in Texas, was raised in Chicagoland and has fond memories....

...and I do too.

 

 

Honestly, being here has done us all a lot of good, the most important thing being that we have ALL found our way to Christ's feet. Ella has developed a real love for His word. She's also got more stable relationships with Gabe and me. And...somehow, in the last few years, she's gone from the child in the stroller to....

...a gorgeous young lady.

 

 

Yes, I am rambling. Because the passage of time is a scary thing. Because moving scares me something fierce. Because I honestly have NO IDEA what's going to happen. With my Dad, with anything. Because I love my church family and am scared I won't find one like it back home. I have one huge comfort though: God. He's brought me this far, and He won't abandon me. So, please, please pray for me. It's going to be a crazy adventure, all of this. 



I'm Still Alive, I Promise

The last couple of months have been...ugh.

Ella and her sis each turned a year older. 7 and 8, respectively. I survived that.

My Dad turned out to have multiple myeloma. He's undergoing treatment as we speak. We are surviving that.

The house we have been renting for almost 3 years is being sold out from under us. We WILL survive that.

Despite all of this...some good news.

Our faith is strong.

Our love in God and each other is strong, too.

Gabe and I celebrate 7 years of marriage on August 2nd. If you had told me a year and a half ago that we would make it to 7 years, I would have laughed and called you a liar.

God is good.

And if I ever need a reminder that He is good, and I am blessed beyond all measure....

Breathing

It's been a while since I last wrote anything. It's been crazy here, to say the least. My father had a cancer scare, which by God's Grace turned out to be nothing. Gabe's been dealing with a lot at work. I've been doing my best to breathe as the girls' birthday approaches. It hasn't been easy.

On one hand, I am much calmer this year than any other year. God gave my father a second lease on life, I am grateful for that. I want to honor my daughter more, and cry less. Does that make any sense?

All of that was going extremely well, until...a nameless person approached me and asked me "what's wrong?" because I "seem a little off.", which I suppose in itself was harmless. However, after being briefed about my situation, this person proceded to lie to me about having suffered a loss herself, and then called me "bitter."

If this person reads it, I am sure she knows who she is. To the rest of you, (unless of course, I've already told you who she is, and I know you will keep the secret), she will remain nameless.

So, there you have it. I'm breathing right now. In, out, in, out. God's grace is sufficient. He gives me the strength I need to face down each day as the 17th approaches. We have several new pinwheels out front. I will update with pictures later this week.

Until then, say a little prayer for me please. Thank you.

Pinwheels

Every year, in the spring, especially from mid to late April til the middle of May, I have myself a freakout. My firstborn was lost during pregnancy on May 17th. I had my next-born the following May 17th, at 35 weeks. My firstborn is Riley Grace, and we miss her every day. My next-born is Ella, and when she is not driving me insane, she is the light of my life. Having both birthdays on the same day is not easy to say the least, and I spend most of the time leading up to May 17th either dreading it or feeling guilty for dreading it.

This year, I bought Ella a pinwheel at the dollar store. She "gave" it to Riley, but putting it under the cherry tree she has dubbed Riley's tree. Then, she informed me that she would like to collect some pinwheels for Riley. A dear friend gave me an Americana-themed pinwheel. Thank you, Brenda!

 

Last week, Ella took her own money to the store and bought a rainbow colored pinwheel for her sister.

 

 

Then, today, I was surprised by the FedEx guy, who brought a pinwheel all the way from my American hometown of Berwyn, IL courtesy of my friend Desiree. I love, love, love this one. Dragonflies have always been my special "sign" for Riley, so this is so special to me.

 

 

Don't you love this one? We certainly do. We have them under Riley's tree, which will be blooming within the next week or so.

 

 

Ella is grateful to everyone who has given or donated one, and she is hoping for 8 by May 17th (so we are halfway there!), because it would be Riley's 8th birthday. Ella will be turning 7 that day. Where does the time go? Anyone who wants to send us a pinwheel, please contact me at joanna.unbehaun@yahoo.com  Tell everyone you know. I want this birthday to be special for both of my girls.









Wordless Wednesday

New Life Scavenger Hunt

When you're a homeschooler, it's hard to find new and exciting things to do with your kiddos. While researching our Bible memory verse, I found a Family Devotional Program for the spring season. One of the first things that was listed was the New Life Scavenger Hunt, where your child is given a camera and they take pictures of living things. I received a Panasonic Lumix for my birthday last October, and Ella loves playing with it, so we grabbed that and off we went.

Forsythia bush in our yard

Robin in the churchyard

We saw some ducks too

this is Grandpa Bruce, who is definitely alive!

Ella spotted some curly onion grass

And these beautiful lilac buds

Ella's friend Hallie joined us. Aren't they adorable?

Hallie found this dandelion, which is a living thing

We also found this potato...it's arguably alive :)

Hallie's brother, Luke also made the "alive" list

And so did these two :)

 

It was good to see both girls learning about things that are alive (flowers, birds) and things that are not (rocks, household appliances), and even better to tell them that God created all these beautiful living things for us to enjoy.

 



 

Bubbles...an experiment

I've been so incredibly stressed lately. My girls' birthday is coming up, and my husband's job is stressful, and life is stressful in general...So today, I decided to de-stress by doing something fun with Ella. A few days ago, I saw a post on Facebook about industrial strength bubbles. We took 6 cups of water, one cup of corn syrup, and 2 cops of non-ultra Joy dish soap. Mix it all together, and you end up with something that smells wonderful (like lemons!) and looks like this....

 

We took bubble wands, made bubble wands out of straws, and used kitchen stuff (like that spatula) to make bubbles.

 

 

This made big bubbles. They were so strong that they didn't pop in the air, or after they landed in the grass.



See what I mean? This sucker wouldn't pop. Soooo.....

 

Ella jumped on it.



All in all, it made for a good time. And we have some bubble liquid left, and I read it gets better the longer it sits, so we'll have more fun another day!