Rambling, mostly.

Three years ago, we moved to North Carolina. My husband and I hated each other's guts, I wanted a divorce in the worst way, and we were all around unhappy. Ugh. It took three years, some major arguments and a long painful walk back to Christ for both of us to fix ourselves first, and our marriage second. Here we are now, on the verge of a move back to Chicago.

I hate moving. Haaaaate it. With a mad passion. My husband will also tell you that I am the worst mover in the entire universe. I want to box up everything and sort it "when we get there." I can imagine how much this annoys him. Heck, it annoys me too. But, you know, we do what we have to. I am in the painful process of "sorting" right now, ugh.

My main worry is how this move will affect Ella. By the time I was nearing her age, I had moved across one ocean, and then had to move again. Blah. Did I mention I hate moving? Before coming to North Carolina, we were not the most stable family. My marriage out and out SUCKED. I was not a good Mom. Gabe was not a good Dad. We were not good people. The fact that we are celebrating 7 years of marriage tomorrow is a flippin' miracle.

During our 3-year stay in the great state of NC, by God's grace, we've managed to wake up and rediscover the Lord and the fact that we love each other and we can be pretty cool parents, too. Ella has thrived and flourished and is a really cool little kid. I almost don't want to mess with that. However....

My Dad has cancer. North Carolina is not my home, and truth be told, it isn't Gabe or Ella's home either. Gabe and I began our great love affair (ha!) in the Chicagoland area. Ella, while born in Texas, was raised in Chicagoland and has fond memories....

...and I do too.

 

 

Honestly, being here has done us all a lot of good, the most important thing being that we have ALL found our way to Christ's feet. Ella has developed a real love for His word. She's also got more stable relationships with Gabe and me. And...somehow, in the last few years, she's gone from the child in the stroller to....

...a gorgeous young lady.

 

 

Yes, I am rambling. Because the passage of time is a scary thing. Because moving scares me something fierce. Because I honestly have NO IDEA what's going to happen. With my Dad, with anything. Because I love my church family and am scared I won't find one like it back home. I have one huge comfort though: God. He's brought me this far, and He won't abandon me. So, please, please pray for me. It's going to be a crazy adventure, all of this.