Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Because I need to write this.

There are two of them.
There will always be two of them.
That doesn't change because one of them is not here.

They are still sisters.
They are still my daughters.

Because, you know, one day I'll be walking along with my seven year old and some well-meaning stranger will come up to me and say, "That's a mighty fine daughter you have there" or something like that. And I'll smile and thank him or her, but inside I'm screaming "THERE ARE TWO THERE ARE TWO THERE ARE TWO!!!!!!!"

About three years ago, I was wearing my Riley heart that a good friend got me at the Biltmore house. And the lady at the grocery store who knows my name and Ella's name took a good long look at the heart and said, "Who's Riley?"  And I had to explain it. And then she looked at me like I had seven heads or something.

I need this. I need this in writing. Because one of my biggest fears is forgetting her.
So, I need this.

and this

and this

Mostly, I need her name near me because it reminds me. She was here. She's my child.
Her memory box sits on Ella's bookshelf. Not because I don't want it, because I do...those are HER things...but because Ella feels the need to keep her sister close, to keep the reminders close...she is not alone.

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