Monday, April 16, 2018

On the subject of my Dad

Dad's a great man.
Often funny.
Seldom serious.
Always genuine.
He's been my hero since I was 8 and could live with him full-time. Before that, he was living in the US and my Mom and siblings were living in Poland.
When I was learning English, Dad was pretty military and hardcore about me learning new words. It's one of the only times when I wasn't very fond of him, ha.
Today, I'm grateful for that. Nobody has any clue that English isn't my first language and it's because Dad was so crazy about me learning the language and learning it well.

Easter, 2010.
Neither of us is terribly photogenic.

When Dad was first diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2013, I didn't hold it together well at ALL. Just ask my husband's friend, the cop, who saw me out running at 3 in the morning, sobbing my heart out. Dad constantly harangued me about family peace and family togetherness, even while he was in the hospital, days away from undergoing a transplant.

Vacation, 2016.
Still as unphotogenic as ever.

Fast forward to this past winter. I said some pretty insensitive things that caused a lot of family turmoil. Dad lectured me pretty harshly, and I was pretty mad. (even though the lecture was damn well deserved). I was immature, and we didn't speak for about a week. I wasn't speaking to anyone. Not him, not my Mom, not my siblings.

One Thursday, at work, I missed a phone call from my sister. The second time she called, I was able to pick up. Dad was in the ER. Nobody knew what was going on. Family disagreements fell by the wayside, nobody slept that night, and the next day dawned a new beginning for this family.
The terrifying beginning of finding out exactly what was wrong with Dad.
The beginning of strengthening of family bonds between my Mom, my sister, and me.

Dad went through a terrible ordeal. In and out of the hospital. Treatments for one thing, only to find out the cancer was back. A bout of C.Diff. Doctors not knowing if treatment would work because cancer coming back in this way is rare. Being told that this was their "last resort." An episode of "swimming away" during a treatment.

My Mom and I have never been close. My sister and I have had periods of time where we've been close, and periods of time where we haven't. Most of that is my personality. During one of our phone calls while he was in the hospital, Dad lectured me again, this time more gently.

"This is about family."
"Everybody needs to get along and love each other."

I don't know exactly when the ice melted. I can't recall the exact moment.
Suddenly, phone calls to my Mom are looked forward to and filled with jokes and laughter.
My sister and I, busy as we both are, find time to text one another funny things. She shares my sarcastic sense of humor.

What hits hard, is Dad was lying in a hospital bed, battling cancer for the second time, weak, tired...and his main thought was US. His wife. His kids. His grandchildren.


my parents with Ella, 2010

My Dad loves children. He loves his children. He loves OUR children (his grandkids). He hasn't met Josie yet, but he will. He asks about my girls all the time and looks at their pictures often. Ella adores her Pop-Pop. She fondly recalls our 2016 trip to Wisconsin.


my parents with Ella, 2016

Dad told me recently that he sees this man at the Family Dollar in his town. This man has two grand-daughters, "one big, one little." He says that this guy always hangs out with his grand-daughters and that he's kind of envious of him. He really really really wants to meet Josie. It's happening, and sooner than he thinks!!! :)

Dad and Ella, 2016

There's only one thing left to say about this amazing guy.

He's defied the odds once again.
The "last ditch effort" WORKED.
The tumors are barely there.
Thank you all for the prayers, God has surely heard them!!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Monthly Self Care Project: April

April 11, 2018
Since my last selfie post, we've found out that Dad's tumors are shrinking which is AMAZING news, and explains why I didn't mind taking a picture today.
Also, since last post, I've lost about 5 pounds and gained a new self-love.
Onward and upward!

Monday, April 9, 2018

Happy Homemaker Monday: April 9, 2018

Oh my goodness. I've been MIA a while, I know.
I honestly haven't felt much like writing anything what with my Dad in the hospital.
The latest is: we're not out of the woods right now, but he is well enough to be released from the hospital.
My Mom and I, while our relationship has always been touch and go, seem to have found a new happy place and I look forward to our daily phone calls.
I'm hoping to get back into blogging, and to regain my sanity.


Breakfast time, what's on the plate this morning: Potato and cheese pierogi. Breakfast food often makes me sick in the morning, so I prefer it for dinner. 

On this week's to do list: OH BOY. Literally everything, as I've been mostly away this weekend, looking after my boss's house while he saw his son in Winston Salem. So, all the house work, all the laundry, all the cooking. Oh, man. 

Currently reading: My Bible, and my camera manual. I got a new camera in February. It's pretty big and bad, and I'm still getting used to everything. 

On the T.V. this week: Hinterland. I swear, nobody does dark crime like the British. I finished Happy Valley (can season 3 please come out, please please PLEASE) and fell in love with Catherine Cawood. I felt bereft after it finished, and Hinterland came up as a suggestion. I've only seen one whole episode (as I mostly watch when pumping), and it was so so goood! 

The weather outside is: Insane. It's April 9th and we have SNOW. 

I have thyme coming up outside and this is what it looks like right now. Thankfully, it seems to be melting, but uggggh. Come on, April showers are NOT meant to be SNOW showers. 

On the menu this week: I have absolutely no idea. I will be more on track later this week, I promise. 

If I have a few minutes to myself, I will: Start on artwork for sale. Trying to sell what I can so I can go home and visit Dad next month. 

What I'm creating: The aforementioned artwork and a headband for Josie's 11 month photo shoot (how the heck is that even this month?!)

New recipe I'm trying this week: I haven't even looked in my freezer in 3 days, you guys. Ha. 

Favorite photo from the camera: 

We released some butterflies last weekend. 

Bible Verse, Devotional: 



Sunday, March 11, 2018

Monthly Self Care Project: March


 March 11, 2018

I was at Michael's and I was alone. My girls were with Gabe. I had debated taking some time and putting on makeup and what not, and taking this picture later this afternoon, but decided against it. 
This is reality, and sometimes, reality ain't pretty. As most of you know, my Dad's battling multiple myeloma again. 
My kids both have the cold, my husband has the cold, and I have it too. 
I'm in the process of spring cleaning my house, and I work ridiculous hours and I just don't have time for makeup and primping and that's okay. 
Do you know why it's okay? 
Because I'm still standing.
Because my family is fed and happy, despite their cold. 
Even though you can't tell in the picture, my shirt says "Strong Like Me", and I do feel strong, because my strength comes from God. 
I decided to take the picture in front of these silk flowers because even though I don't feel very pretty right now, they sure are.

Monday, March 5, 2018

Butterflies

This is our 3rd year raising Painted Lady butterflies. In 2016, I thought it would be a cool thing to try "just this once."

My daughter, of course, fell in love with watching them emerge from the chrysalis, and last year, we did it again. I was pregnant and it had even more meaning for me.


6 days after our release, I gave birth to Miss Josie.

Our 2018 batch of caterpillars arrived last week. They are sitting pretty on top of my mantel (don't worry, I don't turn the fireplace on with them up there), watched over by my "Chrysalis" Willow Tree Angel.


Stay tuned for weekly updates!

And remember...

Happy Homemaker Monday: March 5, 2018

Good afternoon, friends! It's been an odd weekend. My Dad went back into the hospital, with more vomiting and nausea. We found out that his cancer has returned. He is ready to fight, thank goodness, but I know he's having a rough time.
Please include Dad in your prayers. That said, HHM is definitely helping to keep me sane. 



Breakfast Time, what's on the plate: I guess I should say right now that stress and I are not friends, and that the first thing to go when I'm stressed out is my appetite. So, nothing.

On today's to-do list: Work. Clean. Exist.

Currently Reading: My Bible. I finished "Paper Roses" over the weekend, and now I'm waiting anxiously for the next book in the series.

On the TV: I started watching "Retribution" on Netflix, but goodness, that was some dark subject matter. As a loss parent, seeing a pregnant woman get murdered...oh, it did something to me. Instead I'm watching "Girls Incarcerated" and re-watching The Great British Baking Show.

The weather outside is: Bipolar. It's supposed to be nice today, decent tomorrow, and then boom, 30's with teens as nighttime lows. What is going on, NC?

On the menu this week: Bear with me here, friends, as I try my best to actually cook for my family in the midst of this insanity. While I cannot guarantee that certain meals will fall on certain days, I will tell you that today, before I leave for work, I will throw a few seared cube steaks into the crockpot with mushroom gravy and small potatoes. At some point this week, we will have a meatloaf casserole, a "catch whatever can be caught/leftover/whatever" day, and a spaghetti squash, as well as chicken tacos and breakfast for dinner.

If I get a few minutes to myself, I will probably: Cry. Or read. Or both, ya know, multitasking. Or sleep. Both of my girls have the cold, and I fear I am next.

What I am creating this week: At the moment, nothing. I'm focusing on keeping my sanity. Maybe I need to break out the sketchbook?

New Recipe I tried or want to try: I made beef curry over the weekend. I love Indian Food, and I have no idea how I went over 30 years without every trying it. Goodness!

Favorite photo from the camera this week: 



My youngest turned 9 months last Wednesday. We took some pictures outside. Yes, Ella has blue in her hair :)

Bible verse, Devotional 




Have a beautiful week, and stay well my friends!



Monday, February 26, 2018

Happy Homemaker Monday: February 26, 2018

Good morning, friends.
It's been a long week/week-end. On Thursday, I learned my Dad was in the emergency room at the hospital in the town where he lives. Long story short, but some tumors were found and he headed to his oncologists. At the time this is written, we are waiting on biopsy and bloodwork. Our biggest fear, of course, is that it's cancer again.
Update: While writing this post, I received a call from Dad. The bloodwork is back and it's NOT multiple myeloma. Now, we wait for the biopsy.
Please, pray for my Dad. Pray for peace, whatever the outcome. Pray for my family. Thank you all so much in advance.

I'm doing this to keep some semblance of order and sanity.

Breakfast time, what's on the plate this morning: Brown rice and vegetables. Breakfast food has usually made me sick to my stomach, and it's just that much worse this morning with the situation with Dad.

On today's to do list: 1) Work, 2) Clean the bathrooms, 3) Try to remember to breathe and function, like a normal human being.

Currently Reading: I meant to start "Paper Roses" by Karen Ann Hopkins, but I haven't yet. That's the latest book in the Serenity's Plain Secrets series.

On the TV this week: Forensic Files (mine and Ella's new favorite) and Rescue Mediums (our other favorite!)

The weather outside is: Cloudy and dreary. Still pretty warm, but it's supposed to cool down a lot by the end of the week.

On the menu this week:
Monday: Turkey pasta bake.
Tuesday: Zuppa Toscana
Wednesday: Breakfast Casserole
Thursday: Hamburger/Chili Mac, garlic bread
Friday: chicken alfredo casserole
Saturday: Ella's choice (she says probably frozen pizza)
Sunday:  Spaghetti and Meatballs

If I have a few minutes to myself, I will: Probably have a good cry.

What I'm creating this week: Absolutely nothing. The rug was pulled out from under all our feet, you guys. I just gotta get through today and then we will know what we're dealing with. Again, prayer is so appreciated.

New Recipe I tried or want to try this week: Well, I've mastered a low-carb version of Chicken Cordon Bleu, and I'm going to try a new version of chili/hamburger macaroni. This week isn't very gourmet, but I'm trying.

Favorite photo from the camera: 

So, I got a new camera this week. A big, bad DSLR that I've been wanting for years. I'm still practicing with it. Also, my boss got me flowers on Friday because he saw much this situation was weighing on me, but I was still showing up for work every day (even though he says I can take off as much time as I need...but if I do that, I will go insane)

Bible Verse, Devotional: I have to keep repeating Jeremiah 29:11.
I will update on Dad as I can, have a beautiful week!