81 days later...

...and I am wearing a shirt from the juniors department. I am getting to where I need and want to be. Life is good!!!!

It's a Red-Letter Day!

...and do you know why?

Because this morning, when I looked in the mirror, I realized...
*I am wearing a shirt that absolutely did not fit me two months ago
*I HAVE A WAIST!

When I texted this picture to a friend, she replied, "Look at you, you are so SKINNY!"

Let me tell ya'll something.

Over my ENTIRE LIFE, I have had many compliments thrown my way.
"You have pretty eyes."
" I love your hair."
"You have a lovely complexion."

I have never. EVER. in my entire almost 31 years of life been called SKINNY!

God gets all the glory here!

I Survived!

Today was Day 30.

I'm not one to beat around the bush, so I'll say this:

it was hard, but...

IT WAS WORTH IT.

Every single push-up, every leg lift, every squat.

I'm a work in progress, but progress has absolutely happened.

I feel fantastic. I made it a point to take a picture of myself in the same outfit. When Gabe saw me in it today, and then clicked on the "Day 1" picture, he said, "Wow. You can definitely tell the difference."

I'm taking tomorrow off to give my muscles a chance to rest. Thursday, I start a 3-week workout, and June 1st, I'm starting "Mean Abs June." Truthfully, I'm a little bit afraid of that, but I'll make it! (Right?????)

General Life update and Someting New.

I know it's a cop-out to post "we've been busy", but yes, we've been busy.

Our school year ended this Thursday, so we've had lots to do with wrapping up final studies and such. Of course, this does not mean that our school year is really over, as Ella tends to learn year-round.

My Dad is not gaining weight as much as doctors would like him to, (don't worry, the cancer is not back), and it's all due to the medications that he is on (which are beneficial) as well as his mounting anxiety (if you had been through what he has been through this past year, trust me, you'd be anxious too).

My oldest sister and I are in agreement that Dad should be on a mild antidepressant to take the edge off his anxiety. My brother says antidepressants are of the devil and that they don't work. Never mind the fact that my Mother has been on them for about ten years. Sigh. Please pray with me that Dad will make the right decision.

This morning, my beloved Sunday School teacher stepped down due to her husband's declining health. While I saw this coming, I am still pretty crushed. She has been a huge influence, a shoulder to cry on, and most importantly, a friend. She has been the picture of grace under any circumstance, and I am truly blessed to be counted as her friend.

I was blessed to receive a package of Mother's Day cards for the project this year, and I am trying to come up with something to do for October 15th, as it is the only day we have that is truly about remembering our babies. I have been stressed to the gills, and I am trying not to let the devil have a foothold in my life.

ALL that aside...

I have received so much love and support from fellow angel moms about this project. It humbles and amazes me.

I am currently on Day 28 of this 30 Day challenge. I've almost made it! My husband says I look incredible, and truthfully, I feel incredible. The leg lifts make me feel like my ab muscles are going to snap like a rubberband, but I'm totally not going to stop working out after this. I think I am going to do a running challenge after this, and then my friend Brittney and I are starting something called Mean Abs June...which I'm a little afraid of, but BRING IT ON!

Lastly, Ella and I are starting a new monthly tradition. Something called "Girls and Pearls". Today was the first. Basically, we get all fancied up in pearls and such and go out for a meal or a girls' day out. It doesn't have to always be on a Sunday, but I felt like it had to happen today after Mrs. B left.

Ella in her pearls :)

Forgive my splotchy face. I've been crying all morning.

and one of us together.

Today, Ella wanted to go to McDonald's, so there we went. Maybe next time we can do something more fancy/befitting of the "girls and pearls" name :) Or maybe not. That's part of the fun of motherhood!

LifeChange Update: I survived two weeks!

Two weeks ago, I made the conscious decision to begin an exercise program.

Two days into it, I almost made the decision I wasn't going to do it anymore.

My arms were hurting from the pushups.

My thighs and abs were burning from the leg lifts.

It hurt to WALK.

I decided to suck it up and stay with it.

One of the best decisions I've ever made.

I've definitely lost weight. The pants I was wearing in my Day 1 photo are too big now, and a pair of jeans which has NEVER fit me now fits! I have more energy and the constant anxiety attacks I was having are GONE.

Oh..and here's me 2 weeks in. My face looks awful but bear with me, it's allergy season.

I'm ready for days 15-30!

Life change (be prepared for raw honesty here)

I am not happy with the way I look.
Yes, I have a husband who tells me I am beautiful every day.
I saw a picture of myself on Facebook that someone had tagged me in and I thought, "Oh my word, that is not me."

In my married/children/homeschool life, somewhere, I forgot about myself.

No, I am not what people refer to as "fat."

I am bigger than I used to be. That messes with my body image. My body image is more fragile than I realized.

I refuse to "diet." We eat pretty healthy here.

While I do run (a lot), my arms and stomach could use major toning.

I need to feel pretty, even if it means putting on lipgloss and (maybe) eyeshadow more often.

Are you ready for the raw honesty?

this is me. This was taken yesterday. Not where I want to be. So...for the next 30 days, besides my Bible, this plan will be my friend....

 

 

I'll update in a few days. I feel like I'm ready to change things as far as my body image/self esteem go! :)