Happy Homemaker Monday: September 24, 2018

It's seriously been over 3 months since my last HHM post, so I'm long overdue! Forgive me please, life has been crazy.

The weather in my neck of the woods: There's a cold front moving through, for which I am super grateful and it's a little rainy today. Perfect for some slow-cooking.

Breakfast time, what's on my plate: Nothing so far, whoops. I mean, I have had a spoonful of cream cheese. I'm doing a lazy version of the keto diet, and this fits just fine. I suppose if I wasn't low carb, I would have some toast with it hahah.

On today's to do list: Vacuum the living room, clean the bathrooms, take the girls to the library, run to the grocery store.

Currently reading: The World Before Us by Aislinn Hunter. I'm having a hard time getting into it, but I'm going to try my darndest.

On the T.V. this week: Even though I've seen it a million times before, I'm going to try and finish That 70's Show.

On the menu this week: Making Italian Cream Cheese Chicken in the Insta-Pot today, tomorrow is Pizza Soup, and the rest of this week is TBD.

If I have a few minutes to myself this week, I will: Read my book. Have a pedicure. Take a long walk.

What I'm creating this week: I have absolutely no idea. I need to do something to keep my mind and hands busy.

New recipe I'm trying/want to try this week: Honestly, anything in the InstaPot. My birthday is coming up, and as an early birthday present, my boss got me a big fancy InstaPot. So, I'm Pinterest-ing ALL the recipes.

Favorite photo from the camera: 

My husband was off last week on Wednesday, so the older daughter and I had a girls' day. We had dinner at the local deli, and took a small hike to the waterfall in our town. We're having a repeat girls' day this Wednesday. What should we do?

Bible verse, Devotionals, Prayers:  This entire country needs prayers. Things are so messed up here and there is so much division.

A Jumble

This is where I come back from one of my disappearing acts.
Trust me, I needed this one.

We lost my Daddy on July 6.

I still feel so incredibly lost sometimes. Like, how is this even real?
How is he gone?
My Dad was always larger than life to me. He could do anything, fix anything. He was my hero. Still is.
Two days before he died, Dad told me, "I'm leaving. I love you guys."
I can still hear him saying "Odchodze" (I'm leaving).

When my friend Ms. Lora died, I knew she would die. But I was still unprepared.

Unprepared is the understatement of the century when it comes to how I feel about Dad being gone. I find myself thinking about two years ago, when Ella and I went to visit him and Mom. I think about joking around with Dad about stupid things and getting the grand tour of the neighborhood and then remembering that he is GONE and I will not have those conversations with him again and it's like I'm being hit by a truck every single time.

And I know that where he is now, there is no more pain, no more cancer, no more sickness. Dad is whole and healthy and reunited with his parents and his older brother. My babies in heaven have met their Pop Pop and that must be so beautiful.

And as much as it hurts to be here, and be Dad-less, I know I'm really NOT Dad-less. Because he's always here. Every time I say something to make my kids laugh, I know Dad's there. Every time I fix some household item, I know Dad's there. Every time I play gypsy music for the girls, I know he's there. Since the day he died, I've been seeing blue butterflies everywhere.

I'm trying. I've wanted to sit down and write a blog about this or that and make my way seamlessly back.
But I couldn't. Not without writing about Dad.

Because I owe him at least this.
At least.