Slices of Sanity

Sometimes, things get out of control crazy. Busy. Busy. Busy.
Work. School. Homework. Housework.
Lather, rinse, repeat.

So what keeps me sane in these mountains?

Little things. My daughter. The garden. Cats. Jumping in puddles.
What keeps YOU sane?

Where Have I Been?

I've not meant to neglect my little corner of the blog-verse, but life's just been happening at an extra quick pace.

I took my first vacation in 17 (!) years and Ella and I went to visit my Mom and Dad in Wisconsin. We had planned to hit Chicago as well, but my Dad ended up getting sick about 4 days into my 8 day stay, and his health is more important than a visit to Chicago. Besides, we'll be in Chicago next year.

Ella and my parents. The last time they saw each other, Ella was 4...she is now 10!

She had a blast in their pool!

My Mom and I worked on things while I was out there. A lot of people tell me we look alike!

I literally waited SIX YEARS for this picture. My Daddy! He's a hero!

We are terribly unphotogenic, but it's the first parent/kid selfie in forever, I think.

So, I'm back for the moment. Work has been insane, and I THOUGHT today would be my first Monday off in forever (besides my one vacation Monday). Whoops, I was wrong. I'll do better on here, I swear.

Taking a breather

If you follow me, you've noticed that I've taken a bit of a break.
I've had to.

I think there were a few things that I needed to deal with after my last miscarriage, and I think, in the spirit of moving forward and trying not to burden my family with everything, I missed dealing with those things.

I've taken the last few weeks to really breathe and deal, and heal.

There's been some solemn silence, a lot of tears, and much prayer.

But, there's been a lot of joy in family, in solitude and in my little home.

God says "wait", so I wait.

Have a beautiful week <3

The Things You Think About....

It's freezing outside (actually, it's below freezing)...and it's one of those "Mom-I'm-so-hopelessly-bored-I-might-explode" days.
What to do? What to do?
Put on music and try on every.single.dress in her closet to thin them out (we're sending the too-small ones to a friend, and sending some off to a consignment sale)

And of course, this gets a Mama thinking.
How much longer?
How many more snowy Saturdays like this do I get?
How much longer will she want to be a princess in a puffy dress?
How much longer will she be my shadow, my best friend?

And if God blesses us with another one?...what will happen then? With that baby? With my relationship with Ella?

A Mama's heart cannot take deep thoughts like this.
Pray for me, friends.

A Little Bit of Christmas-y Stuff...

It's not looking like Christmas around here. At all.

The other day it was almost 70 degrees out, and Ella spent the day riding her bike (the one she got from the Sheriff's Dept.) and playing with the animals (our cats, the landlord's dogs) outside. It's supposed to cool down on Friday, but we're back up into the 60's next week. I've given up on the idea of a white Christmas this year, but that's okay.

We decorated our (living, in a pot, going outside in the Spring) tree.

My dear friend Jen sent me a beautiful ornament in memory of my Little One, gone nearly a month now. The ornament reads "Every time a bell rings, a faithful angel gets its wings."

Riley's ornament is nearly 6 years old. I got it when we first moved to NC.

I finally got all of the fall decorations off my mantel. The picture is Ella's handprints from years ago, and the two little ornaments are in honor of my two babies in Heaven. Oh, and Hawkeye the fish is there too. He's not decor though.

As far as Christmas shopping goes, it's almost done (Thank you, Swagbucks and Amazon) I have a few little things I need to get on Friday, and then we're ready. While I'm a little sad this Christmas, because Christmas Eve was going to be when I announced the pregnancy, I'm extremely blessed. I have a loving husband, a beautiful 9 year old girl, 3 sweet (for the most part) cats, amazing family and friends. I'm blessed, even through this sadness.

Also, Magpie says Merry Christmas!!!!

A Word of Caution, Friends...

Be careful who you trust with your information. Email addresses, logins, anything.

I've recently experienced something that caused me to have to change my passwords for everything. This is the kind of stuff that compromises your internet security, heck, your security in general, and maybe even your family.

When something seemed off, I followed my gut and checked it out. Sure enough, dumb little things had been done on Facebook. People taken off my block list, etc. Nothing major, but certainly noticeable.

Be careful who you give any kind of information to. If the people aren't your husband/living in your house/someone who is trustworthy beyond any doubt, don't do it. I'm hoping I've prevented any further damage by changing everything, but I really don't know.

Here's the kicker. This person was someone I thought I could trust. Sure, I'd been warned about them by various people here and there, but "I knew better." Turns out I don't know better. Ugggggh.

Here's to being more careful in the future, friends.

Please take these words to heart, and take care of you.

<3

God Bless ya'll, and until next time.

Checking The List: General Chaos Update, June 2015

Do ya'll remember this post and the list that came with it? That post was written at one of the most stressful times in my life, when I was trying to keep a grasp on my sanity.

That stress has passed, Praise God, and I remain (mostly) sane. I wanted to update ya'll on my list :)

Here goes:

1) Working on my relationship with Christ: It's been rough. I've read a lot of things in the Bible that have challenged things I've believed (not God-wise, life-wise) for years. I'm realizing now that being in a church doesn't make you a Christian any more than being in a garage makes you a car.

2) Enjoying my family. CHECK! YES. I love it. I love spending time with my husband and daughter, and the various others that comprise my little family.

3) Basking in the major change my family is undergoing: CHECK! Yup! We moved! (side note: we are about to undergo more changes. Stay tuned....) We are currently living with this view....

4) Repairing a broken relationship that means more to me than I realized: That would be my Mom. Working on it! It's better than it was :)

5) Finishing up the homeschool year: CHECK! (and I didn't do last day of school photos because we moooooved)

6) Planning a trip: Ok, cat's out of the bag. Sometime in the late summer/early fall, Ella and I will be taking a trip to home, sweet home!

7) Taking aforementioned trip: Working on it :)

8) Not neglecting this blog: CHECK! I've actually written some worthwhile stuff :)

9) Learning to sew better: working on it! Have some projects that will be getting accomplished in the next few weeks

10) Taking measures to pursue my dream job: CHECK! I am back in school!

11) Trying new recipes: CHECK! I made braised ribs and cauliflower alfredo . Lately, it's been way too hot to cook, but as soon as it cools down enough so my kitchen doesn't feel like hellfire, I'll cook more new recipes.

12) Helping my husband expand his cooking horizons: CHECK! He made spaghetti and has been helping with cooking here and there. He feels more confident in the kitchen, I can tell that much.

13) Meeting new people: CHECK! I've met several sweet people I am proud to call friend.

14) Helping others the best that I can: CHECK! If I'm in a position to help someone, I've made it a point to do it.

As far as the general chaos update: It is what it is. And what it is is chaos :) I'm working, I'm in school, I'm keeping up the house. I'm trying to breathe and take time to myself (because I'll go insane if I don't). And currently, I'm waiting on the UPS man and trying to get work done at the computer. Ella is doing well, and Gabe is doing well, and we're all healthy and I thank God for it. Keep praying for my Daddy, as he is doing well, but could always use the prayers! Say a prayer for my Mom, she is a brave woman for going through having the rug pulled out from under her and Dad, during his cancer treatments. There are so many people out there who need prayers and God knows each of them by name. So, just send up a prayer for everyone who needs it. Life is too short and precious NOT to pray.

It Won't Always Be Like This...

That's what I told myself when, at 2 weeks post-partum, I had a colicky infant, frequent crying jags and night.after.night of sleeplessness.

It won't always be like this.

And then those sleepless nights mercifully gave way to blissful bedtime routines (firmly believe my move to Chicago fixed that!) and nights of looking at my sleeping daughter.

It won't always be like this.

It's what I told myself during those weeks where I clocked in 80-plus hours at a job I absolutely despised, while trying at the same time to care for an energetic toddler. I cannot tell you how many nights I walked in the door, carseat/stroller/whatever in tow, only to fall into bed exhausted to wake up 3 hours later and do the same thing over again the next day.

And those days morphed into me actually having time off to spend with her, and take pictures. Oh, Lord, did I ever take pictures.

It won't always be like this.
It's what I tell myself sometimes, when the house is a mess and life is way out of control, when the finances are tight and the water's boiling over and the cat is knocking my coffee cup over and I'm tripping over laundry and my husband can't find his cell phone and my phone is ringing and...and...and...

And I shout "Enough!" and my daughter and I wander out into the night to gawk at the moon and chase fireflies and stop to take pictures of frogs and pictures with frogs....

...and you know what?

One day, there will be no more late night walks, or firefly summers, or hand-holding, or a 9 year old telling me I'm her "absolute favorite." One day, there won't be running across the grass and getting our socks wet. One day, there won't be loads of laundry to wash or dirty dishes to fuss over.

God whispers....

ENJOY it. Enjoy every glorious, rushed,  messy moment. Because it won't always be like this.

A Love Affair

Seriously. Me and my camera. Or, rather, me and the camera.

My first SERIOUS camera was a gift from Gabe for Christmas 2009. I wore that sucker OUT.

It saw amazing Texas sunsets...

an epic visit from one of the most amazing people in my world...also, my return to Chicago, which saw....

...quite possibly the most difficult birthday ever celebrated....

...and one of the most joyous ones...they happened on the same day....

It also saw some pretty hilarious family pictures.

And then it got STOLEN. In North Carolina, of all places. So, I took pictures with my phone.

...pictures of Ella and Sparrow (still miss that sweet girl)

....pictures of me and Gabe...

...pictures of incredibly meaningful things....

Then, for my 29 birthday, I received a camera. I received THE camera. It's "only" a point and shoot, but it's my "other" baby. It's seen the past 3 years. It's seen....

...cold winters and awesome  animal shots....

...the evolution of my skill as a people photographer as well as my daughter's ever-growing beauty...

...it's witnessed an incredibly selfless act by an 8 year old...

...a new animal added to our happy household...

I never realized how many pictures I take.

Dear Fellow Parents: An Open Letter

Dear Fellow Parents,

Let me first say that as a Mom, I am not perfect. Not even close. I've had snap-at-my-kid-days, I've had I-need-to-leave-the-room-to-cool-down-days. I am not the perfect skirt-and-apron wearing Mama (although, I have worn both, most recently as a Halloween costume).

Raising kids is not easy.

 They get messy.

They are loud.

They drive ya crazy. They do. I've had meltdown moments in my bedroom, after Ella's bedtime where I've cried and cried. I've had homeschooling days drag down like a snail through super glue.

So, believe me, I'm not perfect. Neither is my kid.

That said, I've noticed a disturbing trend, especially on Facebook. Kid-shaming. Yes, it's one thing to show a picture of your kid when they pull apart a toilet paper roll/are covered in spaghetti sauce (guilty!!!!) or when they dump a truckload of Legos in your living room.

But when people go on endless rants about their children's "shortcomings"...it really saddens my heart. Because I know people who 1) are unable to have children and who would do ANYTHING to have a child to hold, despite their "imperfections" 2) have special needs kids who require their 24-7 attention and they would love a break, but rarely get one...and they still continue to FIGHT for their kids, be their advocates and kick butt for them or 3) have suffered a horrible loss and do not have their children there to "drive them crazy." I'm one kid short. I'll ALWAYS be one kid short. I'd love to have a ten year old here to be a know-it-all, to fight with her sister, to give me a run for my money.

Children are a GIFT FROM GOD.  (Psalm 127:3) And honestly, even if your beliefs differ from mine, you WANTED this child. Just because things don't go your way doesn't mean that it's time to make your child feel bad/worthless/unwanted. Children don't always adhere to your expectations. Sometimes, they make a mess. Sometimes, things are out THEIR control too. Sometimes, as parents, WE are the problem and we have to step back and assess the situation.

Parenting is hard. So hard. But it's rewarding too. So very, very rewarding. I remember the first time Ella, as a baby, pointed out the cars on the road and named the colors. I remember I shouted, "YES!" I remember when, in 2012, after the death of a friend, Ella decided to donate her hair. I think back to last week, on the girls' birthday, in church, Ella ran up to me, hugged me tight and said, "I know it's hard, Mom. I'm HERE FOR YOU." It's those moments that make every meltdown, every mess, every hard moment just melt away for me.

So, please, please, please. Before you hurt your child with words, either on the internet or in person, please think twice. Think of those wonderful moments. Think of the person you want your child to be. Think of the person YOU want to be. The person YOUR child is emulating. And parents, please, please. Love your children. Just love them. Love them with God's beautiful, watchful love. Love them. Spaghetti stains and all.

In Christ,
Jo, an imperfect mother raising a beautifully imperfect child.

We're Here! Also: Superman and a Sprained Wrist (and a Lilla Rose sale)

We're here! We're here! I am typing up this post from the master bedroom in the new house. It's 11:34 (eastern time) and it's so quiet I can actually hear the frogs from across the street. It's been an exhausting day, but we're finally here and we're here to stay!

My husband is Superman. Seriously. he had a mouth/earache last night and it gave him so much trouble, but he came home and packed the rest of the house up like a champ. I did what I could, but with a sprained wrist it wasn't easy.

Yes, that's my massive collection of Lilla Rose products in the background. That reminds me!!!!

Lilla Rose is having a sale! 10% off their new gorgeous Color Basics line and free shipping on orders over $40. It ends at Midnight Pacific time May 15th (that's tomorrow!) So go here and buy something lovely! Also, if you've ever thought of selling Lilla Rose products, now is totally the time!

If I've never told ya'll before, I love this company. I borrowed the $50 to buy the startup kit from Gabe and it's paid itself back over and over. I even called the home office with a question once and John Dorsey, the CEO answered the phone! He was super sweet and it totally made my day. Not to mention, I love and believe in the product I'm selling!

Enough gushing for now...

Just a few pictures to show you....

The house looks like this....but that's ok. Tomorrow, I shall unpack.

That little swatch of hair is my daughter, wrapped up like a burrito.

...and Superman has finally called it a day :)

I'm exhausted but ridiculously happy to be here! Night all!!!