Fridays with Ella: Just a Thought

A lot of you know that last week, I cut 15 inches off my hair. 15 inches is a lot.

I went from this....

...to this

The other day, Mom and I were at the store and someone told me that I "stripped away my femininity" by cutting my hair. Mom was pretty upset.

I'm not.

Here's why.

First of all, the only people whose opinion matters that much to me are Jesus, and my parents.

Second, it's really not that hard to tell that I am a girl from the way I dress. I wear a lot of skirts and dresses.

If this person thinks that I don't look feminine with short hair, what would they think of a little girl with cancer, one who has lost all of her hair during chemotherapy and is completely bald?

This is why I cut my hair. So a little girl would get some of HER femininity back. So she could go to school, or go to the store, and not have some stranger stare at her and make snide comments.

People need to be more careful with their words. Not to me. Not to my Mom. But to those with disabilities, those who are sick, those who are already down, or hurt, or upset.

I can take it. I'm tough.

There are those who are not.

Be careful what you say.

Fridays with Ella: Two Years in the Making

Two years ago, my friend Ms. Lora died of breast cancer. The thing is, we knew she would die, but were surprised when she did. She died on a Tuesday. The day before, Monday, Mom and I went to see her. Mom didn't want to take me because I was only six...and she didn't think that six year olds don't belong in hospitals with the dying.

God worked it out so that there was no babysitter and I HAD to go with Mom. I remember standing in the hospital room and thinking that I missed Ms. Lora already. Ms. Lora was like a grandma to me. She would pull out every toy in her house when Mom and I came over. I remember hearing little bits of conversation between Mom and Ms. Lora while I played on the floor. If you were to look at them and not know that they were not related, you would think they were mother and daughter.

Ms. Lora's funeral was the first funeral I ever went to. I think that's when I decided that I wanted to do something so people would remember Ms. Lora. After the funeral. After a long time. I asked Mom what we could do. She told me about the first time Ms. Lora had cancer, and about how her hair fell out and she had to wear a wig. I asked where the wigs came from, and Mom told me that there are charities, places that give wigs to cancer patients.

I don't remember how the subject of little girls with cancer came up, but I do remember thinking that I had so much hair. I told my Mom I wanted to grow my hair out and donate it to a little girl, but to do it in Ms. Lora's memory so people would know that she made a big difference in my life. She really, really loved me, and she wasn't a blood member of my family. You could feel that love. Like a warm blanket.

Yesterday was two years since Ms. Lora went to be with Jesus. Mom cut my hair. She cried. I didn't. If my hair makes a difference to a little girl, then I am happy. If this means that she feels like a normal little girl while she fights cancer, then I am happy.

I will do this again in three years, on October 16, 2017.

Fridays with Ella: A Request

My Mom has been cleaning out the pantry in our house for the last few days, and it's been a lot of fun.

It also made me think.

I've got a lot of clothes. Too many. There are girls out there who don't have anything.

This will be a short blog. It's mainly a request. If you know of a little girl in need of clothes, I will be giving things away as I find them.

 This is what I washed and folded up today. Please email my Mom at joanna.unbehaun@yahoo.com  if you know of a little girl who is in need.

Mom and I will cover shipping, if it's someone who isn't local to us. God's really put it on my heart to help out another little girl, or little girls, if I can.

Thank you all :)

Fridays with Ella, on a Saturday: Quality Time

Yesterday, I didn't post on here.
My Mom didn't either.

Instead, we hung out together around the house. We did schoolwork, played with kittens, watched TV, hung out with my Dad and thought about everything but posting on the blog.

Dad had a day off from work yesterday and even though he isn't feeling good and was trying to relax, he still spent time with us and showed us that we were loved.

When Mom was studying a Sunday School lesson, Dad took me to buy dinner and we bought a brain mold for the freezer. Dad said it was something for us to do together.

I played in the backyard until late while Mom and Dad sat on the deck and talked and laughed.

To most people it probably doesn't look like we did a whole lot yesterday, but to me, we did. We took time to slow down and spent quality time together. My Mom went out and ran errands extra early so she would have time to spend with us. My Dad took me with him on all the errands he had to run so he wouldn't miss out on time with me. And then we all hung out together. I would rather have that than a rushed vacation somewhere.

Fridays with Ella, On a Saturday: Homeschooled and Weird

Hi.

I've been thinking about writing this for a while.

More than one person has asked me if being homeschooled is weird.

Do I have friends?

Do I ever get to see other kids?

Is it weird?

Maybe to some other people, it's weird, but this is all I know. I've always been taught at home, and I'm very happy with it. No, I'm not going to say that all children should be homeschooled. I think every parent needs to decide what's best for their child.

Just the other day, someone asked about socialization, and "do I ever see kids my age?"

Yes. I do. I have church friends and neighborhood friends and I have friends of all ages, younger and older than me.

I also get asked if all I do is stay home all the time, and the answer is NO. I'm always going somewhere, heading to do something...explore a pond, go on a hike, study a plant or animal.

I asked my Mom why she homeschools me and she told me that it is what she feels is best for me. Because she's my Mom, I trust that.

If I am weird because I am homeschooled, I am completely proud of it.

Fridays with Ella: The Grocery Store and the stuff you learn there

Sometimes, I really miss home. I was raised in the Chicago area for the first four years of my life.
One of the things that my Mom and I used to do there was to go to the grocery story together every Friday.

I don't remember a whole lot of that time, because I was so little, but I remember going through all the aisles with my Mom and waiting in line to buy chicken meat for fajitas. Mom usually made fajitas on Saturdays. I asked her if she remembered today, and she was surprised that I remembered.

Lately, Mom does the big grocery shopping by herself, because it's her break time. Her alone time. I come along on the little trips, usually. But, today, I missed home and I missed those trips she and I would take to the store. So, I asked Mom if I could hang out with her today and if we could go to the grocery store.

I wrote Mom's list for her today, something I couldn't do when I was little. It was nice to wander around the store, with no big hurry to get anywhere. It was nice to eat free sample watermelon, too! That's one thing that Mom and I have in common. We always get the free sample watermelon.

Mom and I walked around the store and bought all the things on our list, and some stuff that wasn't. A song came on and Mom told me about how it made her cry when she was younger. I asked why and she told me it was because she dated a really mean guy and the song made her think of how mean he was, even when she was dating him. I'm glad she married my Dad, and not someone mean.

We met a man at the store who spoke some Russian and Mom was able to have a short conversation with him. He knew some French words too, including the names of vegetables, and I know those, too.

It's amazing what you can learn, even at the store, if you just stop and pay attention.

What Ella wore:
tunic top: Thrifted
leggings: The Children's Place
purple flip flops: Osh Kosh

Fridays with Ella: Simple Stuff

Hi.

This week, I did  a bit of simple, old fashioned stuff.

I accidentally dripped Go-gurt on the brown dress that my Mom got at the sale last week, and the label says "hand wash only."

So, I learned how to hand wash things.

That's my dress drying on the railing on our deck.

There was also a huge stain on the blue sash of the dress that we didn't even know about. But it came out!

My mom told me that she didn't get a washer or dryer until she was about 7. That means all of  her laundry was done by hand!
Mom and her siblings used a washboard and river water, and powdered detergent.

I used dish soap and a washtub and water from the hose.

 After the dress, we hand-washed my pink skirt. I spilled chocolate milk on it. All the stains came out, and it was a lot of fun AND we saved money on the energy that would have been used by our washer and dryer.

Sometimes, the simple stuff really is the best. Sometimes, I wish we didn't have all this electronic junk clogging up our lives. Sometimes, I like to turn off the TV and the computer and the washing machine and just go outside.

What Ella wore
Pink Dress: hand-me-down
Flip-flops: Consignment

Fridays with Ella (and also Girls and Pearls, August edition): Traditions are Important

Hi.

Today, I'm writing about traditions and covering for my Mom. She's not feeling well.

A lot of families have traditions, or special things that they do together. Some people have Christmas traditions, or Thanksgiving traditions (we have one: we have soup every Thanksgiving because my Mom used to be too afraid of cooking a turkey)

But, some families have other traditions. When my Mom was little, my Pop-Pop (her Dad) would have a big housecleaning party every Saturday and then he would take the whole family to the park.

When we lived in Illinois and my Mom worked at the newspaper, she would take me to the craft store every Friday and give me 5 dollars to buy whatever I wanted. We'd go to the grocery store, too, and eat at Mr. Submarine. I don't remember much of it because I was so little, but I remember buying glow sticks and making ghost noises on our way home.

For now, we live in the country and there aren't any craft stores close by to where we could go out there all the time. Mom came up with a new tradition in May: Girls and Pearls.

Basically, we dress up fancy and go somewhere to eat and maybe shop. It's not so much about where we go, or what we do. It's about spending time together. We've been to McDonald's, a Chinese restaurant, and we've even had a picnic in our living room.

Today, we went shopping for more pearls and went to the Mason Jar, one of our favorite places in town. We heard it's closing this fall, and wanted to go before it did.

We don't do much. We just hang out, and talk. Today, Mom told me about all the times she and my Aunt Gosia would sneak out of the house to go get donuts from a place in Chicago. We laughed a lot and just spent time together. What about you? What are your traditions?

 

 

What Ella wore:

Dress: gift, no tag inside (don't know what brand)

necklace and peacock clip: Family Dollar

Shoes: her trusty Sketchers

Fridays with Ella: A Kid's Job

We all have jobs.

My Dad's got one.

My Mom's got three.

I do, too.

The other day, my parents and I were talking about work and how we all have to do our job to make sure that our household works the way it's supposed to.

Dad explained that the Bible says that every member of a family has a job. Dad's job is to provide for our family. So, he goes to work. Mom's job is to be the keeper of our home. That means she cooks, and cleans, and teaches me during school time. Mom has two jobs outside of our house, too. She's pretty busy.

I have a job too. One of the first Bible verses I learned was Ephesians 6:1.
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

I know Mom quotes this verse a whole lot when I'm not doing what she needs me to do.

My job, as a kid, is to obey my parents and God. That usually means keeping my room clean and helping Mom or Dad if they need help. Today, Mom and I cleaned the kitchen, laundry room, bathroom and our fish's tank.

So, I did my job today. I know I need to be better at doing what I'm told. I think most kids are.

What Ella wore:

T-shirt: Gift

Shorts: Thrifted

Flip-flops: Family Dollar

Fridays with Ella: Farmers and Food

Hi.

This week, I started school and because I'm homeschooled I learn a lot of different things in a lot of cool places.

My Mom works on a farm a couple of days a week, and she thought it was a good way for me to learn about where my food comes from. So, she brought me along to help her out.

The farm where Mom works is organic. That means that no chemicals were used on any of the fruits or veggies. Sometimes, in order to kill bugs, farmers spray plants with these chemicals. The thing is, these chemicals can be bad for the people who eat the produce.

After reading more about these chemicals, Mom decided that it was best for our family to eat as clean as possible. That doesn't just mean washing our food before we eat it, she says. We're trying to eat as much organic stuff as we can.

At the farm, I picked organic green beans, organic blueberries, and organic raspberries. Even though the organic strawberries are smaller than the ones I see in the store, they taste way better.

This week, I learned a whole lot about how much work goes into keeping a farm, and how much work goes into picking produce! Mom and I picked over 100 pounds of green beans! We even got to take some home. I love green beans!

 

 

 

 

 

What Ella wore:

 

Camo t-shirt: Justice

Hoodie: Justice (but thrifted)

Shorts: Old navy

Shoes: Sketchers

Fridays with Ella: On Compassion

Hi.

I guess I'm learning a lot of new words this summer. Earlier in the week, Mom asked me if I knew what the word "compassion" meant. I said that it meant to be kind to someone. I was right, but it also means to reach out to people who need a helping hand, and maybe sometimes, just a friend.

Sometimes, on Fridays, Mom and I go shopping and have lunch together. It's usually just the two of us, but today, we decided to invite our  neighbor Ms. Denise. When she told Mom that she didn't really have money to go shopping or buy lunch, Mom and I talked it over and decided to buy Ms. Denise's lunch for her.

We went and shopped for a while,  (Mom bought me an owl umbrella and we got Ms. Denise a pretty purple shirt that she was looking at. It was nice to see her smile when she realized we had paid for it for her) then had lunch at Hibachi Grill, which I loved. Ms. Denise told us she hadn't had Chinese Food in almost four years!

While we were out together today, Ms. Denise kept thanking us and telling us how much fun she had. I guess she was having a pretty bad week this week, and this was exactly what she needed. Someone to reach out to her and be a friend. 

After we came home and Mom and I had a chance to talk, I thought about ways to be compassionate to others and all the ways people have shown compassion to us.

When my Mom was feeling sad after the car accident two years ago, Grandma Jean took her out for lunch, even though it was Grandma's birthday.

When I felt sick a few months ago, my Mom stayed up with me all night, even though she was tired.

When a friend of mine didn't have a Christmas dress, I gave her mine.

I think the world would be a better place if we all would just stop being mean, stop making fun of each other, and just be compassionate.

What Ella wore (and carried)
Dress: Family Dollar
Boots: Zulily
Umbrella: Walmart

Fridays with Ella: Mothers and Daughters

Hi.

Because I'm homeschooled, I spend a lot of time with my Mom. Today, we ran a lot of errands and right now, even though it's late, I'm on the laptop while we are on a hot chocolate date.

I asked her some questions today while we were out running errands and paying bills. Some of her answers about her Mom made me kind of sad. I really like spending time with my Mom, and I think most of the time she likes spending time with me.

So, here is our short interview.

Me: What was it like when you were my age?

Mom: When I was your age, I had just moved to America. It was kind of scary not knowing the language, but we all did O.k.

Me: Did you ever wish you were homeschooled?

Mom: Sometimes. But I don't think my Mom would have wanted to homeschool us kids.

Me: Why not?

Mom: I don't know. Some people just don't homeschool their kids.

Me: Did you and your Mom spend a lot of time together?

Mom: Not really. She was pretty busy keeping up the house.

Me: Do you wish you and your Mom spent more time together?

Mom: Sometimes.

Me: Is that why you spend a lot of time with me?

Mom: Yes. I try to spend more time with you because I think my Mom feels bad now because she didn't spend time with us kids. I don't want to miss anything.


I think my Mom is really sad because her Mom didn't spend a lot of time with her. I'm glad that she spends time with me though. Like today, it's late, but she still took me out for hot chocolate and hung out with me all morning.

I try my best to be a good daughter to my Mom, and if I ever have a daughter of my own, I'll make sure to spend lots of time with her. Maybe I'll even homeschool. If you're a Mom, please make sure to spend lots of time with your daughter. If you're a daughter, please make sure to love and respect your Mom.

What Ella wore:
T-shirt: Rose's/Maxway
Pants: gift, Puma brand
Rainboots: Zulily

Fridays with Ella: Helping Grieving People

Hi.

Mom asked me today if I knew what grieving means.

I think when you grieve over something or someone, it means you are sad. Some people grieve lost loved ones, and some people grieve when friends or family members move away.

My Mom still grieves for my sister.

Just the other day we found out that our friend's son had died. He wasn't old at all, he was younger than my Dad. And now his Mom, our friend, is grieving.

So, what do you do when someone is grieving?

When our friend Ms. Lora died two years ago, a lot of people made food for her family to eat after the funeral. I remember that Mom and I made macaroni and cheese from scratch and we baked peanut butter cookies.

Sometimes, people don't have a funeral you can go to. This man didn't, so we couldn't cook food for the funeral. But we did write sympathy cards for his parents, so they know that people are thinking of them.

That's the best thing we can do for grieving people, I think. Grieve with them and remember who they are remembering.

 

 

 

 

What Ella wore:

 

Shirt: Disney

Skirt: Homemade (from my old top)

Shoes: Sketchers

 



Fridays with Ella: Loving our Pets

Hi.

A lot of you know that I love animals.

At our old house, we fed every stray cat that came our way. We do that at our new house, too.

 

We have a pet cat, Sparrow. She's mainly my Mom's cat, but I think she tolerates me and Dad. Lately, she's been sleeping in my room. I set up a bed for her there, lined with some old blankets and a throw my Mom found in a back closet.

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes, Mom and I go to the Humane Society to feed and play with the cats and dogs there. We're actually going tomorrow to bring lunch to the kittens and then to have lunch together.

 

God created animals, just like He created us. He put us all on this earth to take care of one another, and that includes animals.

 

If everyone could go to this link and maybe donate, this would help Roxie's owners a lot. Roxie's owner is a friend of my Mom's and her daughter is my pen pal. So, if you could donate anything, even a dollar to help Roxie that would be amazing. With prayers, she is doing really well right now!!!

 

 

 

 

 

What Ella wore

Headband: $2, Family Dollar

Striped top: gift, Total Kid brand

Leggings: gift, Justice brand

Rain boots: gift, Zulily

Raincoat: gift, Zulily

Crystal Necklace: borrowed (from me), $2, Rose's/Maxway

 

 



Fridays With Ella: Respecting the Elderly

Hi.

On Monday, Mom and I went to see Ms. Phyllis from our church. She lives in the same apartment building as Ms. Lora, and first I wasn't too sure about going to see her because even going to that building makes me sad.

And then Mom and I had a talk about what it means to love and respect the elderly. Mom said that sometimes, people forget about the elderly and don't go see them. She said that after these people are done caring for their babies, and their babies grow up, they don't take care of their parents. Ms. Phyllis had seven children, and even though some of them come and see her, she is still lonely sometimes.

We didn't want to go empty-handed because when we used to go see Ms. Lora we always brought something. Sometimes it was a flower. Sometimes it was a plate of food. We bought Ms. Phyllis a card and some flowers.

 



We stayed and talked with Ms. Phyllis for a while. Well, mostly she and Mom talked and I listened. I found out that even though her husband died when they were young, Ms. Phyllis never got married again because that's how much she loved her husband.

My Mom also promised to come by and cut Ms. Phyllis's hair for her because right now, Ms. Phyllis doesn't have a car. Hers broke down. So, one day next week, Mom and I are going to take all her haircutting supplies and make Ms. Phyllis feel beautiful. Maybe the most important thing about this visit is how different Ms. Phyllis looked by the end of it. When she opened the door for us she looked happy to see us, but kind of sad and lonely, too. She was smiling and laughing when we left.

What Ella wore:
Printed T-shirt: gift from a fried, Xhilaration brand
Navy skirt: hand-me-down, Justice brand
Shoes: Thrift store

Fridays with Ella: Helping people in my town

Hi.

I decided to type in pink, to make my blogs different from my Mom's.

Yesterday, Mom and I went to unload a truck at the Manna food bank in our town. Mom usually helps there a few times a month, and sometimes I go with her.

Our food bank helps out the people in our town. I had no idea so many people were going without food. Whole families with little kids, smaller than me.

The food bank doesn't just give out food. They also give out things like toothpaste and soap, and even laundry detergent.

Another wonderful thing about our food bank is that all the workers there know each other and treat each other like family. Whenever I come with my Mom to help, Mr. John is always there to greet me. We all do a lot of work, but then we laugh together and have lots of fun!

 

What Ella wore:

 

Polo shirt: Thrifted, "Self-Esteem" brand

Plaid skort (skirt with shorts under it): Gift from a friend, "Faded Glory" brand

Jeweled flip-flops: Rose's/Maxway: "Sarah's Closet" brand

Fridays with Ella: Helping Others

Hi.

This week, I learned about the JOY way of thinking.
First, you should think about Jesus.
Then, Others.
Then, Yourself.

We should be praying everyday.
We should be helping other people.

I found out this week about a little girl who had to leave her house and had no clothes. We were able to help her get some clothes.

I got some new clothes from a friend of my Mom's. This girl needed them more than I do, so I gave them to her.  We were able to give a little bit of everything, even dressy skirts and a bathing suit. Every little girl needs those things. I hope she likes them. We're going through the rest of my clothes to see what else we can give her.

If you ever have the chance to help someone, you should help. It doesn't take much out of our time, and when someone isn't able to do something for themselves because they are sick or disabled, it's our responsibility to help them.

When my friend Ms. Lora was sick, Mom and I helped her by going to her house, and cooking for her. Even though she died, I will never forget visiting her home and how helping her made me feel good, too.

What Ella wore:

Heart dress: thrifted, Bonnie Jean brand
shoes: thrifted.