He Goes Before Me...

I wasn't sure how to post this, or even IF I should post it right away.

I lost the baby in the early hours of Thursday morning. There were a lot of tears, a lot of heartbreak, and I'm still in shock.

Not because it wasn't expected, but because the sudden loss of life always leaves me in shock.

I've since gone to work, had a long talk about heaven with Ella, and taken care of my husband, who's fallen ill with the flu, found a lost dog, located its owners, and began planting a garden.

There's not been a lot of time for grief.

Part of me isn't grieving. Part of me is looking forward to a heavenly family reunion with all my kids.

But part of me just misses that sweet babe.

Friday evening, I was out with a friend. I was watching the rain recede, and the golden sunset move in. I wondered, "Does God have a rainbow for me?" At that same moment, my friend said, "Look!"
...and there it was.

I'm not walking through uncharted territory, with this loss. He's already been here. He goes before me, and I follow because I trust Him.