Girls and Pearls, January Edition

Honestly, this month has been so crazy that I'm surprised we managed to squeeze in a hot chocolate date. But, we did.

At the last possible minute.

We just grabbed some hot chocolate and I had a salad, which was my first complete meal of the day. (I told you, it's been busy)

A few days ago, I saw the cutest dragonfly infinity scarf on sale at Rose's. I bought two today, one for me and one for Ella.

We're pretty cute, I think :)
Yes, we're both wearing pearls. She's wearing a pearly headband and I'm wearing pearl earrings.

We some hot chocolate and talked about life today. It's not often that we don't have something to do, or someplace to go. Sometimes, the simple stuff is just the best :) Happy meals, fries, and time together :)

Ella loves our matching scarves. She says it's a way for us to honor her big sis :)

Grieving Mom Guilt/Surviving the first 10 years

On May 17, it will be ten years since my first daughter went to heaven.

I am outstanding at denial. In fact, I am so great at it that I managed to push everything about May 17, 2005 out of my head until about November 2006 when everything exploded in one horrific fight with Gabe.

When I got pregnant with Ella, and the fear abated enough for me to be excited about the pregnancy, I sent out an email to family and friends.

"Gabe and I are overjoyed to announce that we are expecting OUR FIRST CHILD, due in late June."

Ya'll know what? I never thought one single thing about that email until tonight, on my run. I haven't used that email address in years. I can't even get into it now because I don't remember the security question. But I remembered that stupid email, sometime between mile 2 and 3.

SECOND CHILD. SECOND PREGNANCY.

I know Riley Grace is in heaven. I know she doesn't care about a stupid email that I sent while I was in the throes of denial. I know Ella is quick to point out that she is my SECOND child because she honors her sis every single day. I know all of that.

But...guilt. I swear, things like that make me feel two inches tall. Once, when Ella was two or so, we were at the drugstore, buying pretty nail polish. A woman asked me, "Is she your only one?" and I stupidly replied, "yes."

NO. NO. NO.

Grief sucks. First it hurts. Then, it REALLY hurts. Then, it makes you feel guilty.
Somewhere along the way, it just is. And you accept it, without really accepting it...because it still hurts.

Also....

I will always be Riley's Mom. She will always be my FIRST child. I will always miss her, until the day I don't have to anymore. This doesn't mean I love Ella any less.

I will always be Ella's Mom. She will always be my SECOND child. I am so eternally grateful that God let her stay, despite my nightmare of a pregnancy, despite all of the negative things I was told by the doctors. She will always be my biggest miracle. This doesn't mean she will ever replace Riley.

People have said all sorts of "helpful" things to me over the past 10 years, such as "you should be grateful you have a living child." Yup, I am grateful. You have no idea. But, as I've said before, the fact that I have a "living child", also means that I have one who is not living. I've also been told to "get over it" (one of my favorites) and that "talking about it will scar your living kid for life." Guess what? There is no "getting over it" and Ella is one of the most amazing, caring, beautiful people I have ever met, and I have no doubt it is because she knows about her sister and knows how to comfort the grieving (and she has never told anybody to "get over it.")

Nearly ten years later, I still grieve. I will bet that ten years from now, I still will.

Meal Plan Monday

I figured I had better get this out of the way now before the "snowstorm" hits (4 inches of snow is hardly a storm in my book, but hey, people around here are probably buying up all the bread and milk as we speak)

Well, maybe I shouldn't say anything. It rained ICE on Friday, after all, and I didn't leave the house at all that day...well, except to take pictures.

Since I have zero interest in grocery shopping this week (and possibly next, winter weather usually puts me in a cozy-let's-hunker-down-and-not-leave kind of mood), I am going to aim to use up what I have and possibly trade and barter with Grandma, because I would rather go to her house than the grocery ;) This week should be interesting.


Monday: I'm going to attempt fried rice.
Tuesday: It's going to be cold, so Potato Soup it is
Wednesday:  Mexican Chicken Bake (don't ask what it entails, I'm winging it!)
Thursday: Breakfast for Dinner
Friday: Mushroom Beef Bake
Saturday: Spicy Chicken Soup
Sunday: Spaghetti

4/52

4/52: We spent quite a bit of time at Grandma's house this week. :)

4/52, Sunday: Look, bangs! And her hair is finally long enough to pull all of it back. Yay!

Inspired by a Book: Harriet the Spy's Chocolate Egg Cream

Ella and I are currently reading Harriet the Spy. In yesterday's reading, Harriet went to the store and ordered a Chocolate Egg Cream. I remember wondering what one was way way way back when I first read it, but then I forgot about it. Yesterday, Ella and I researched and found out what an egg cream is....and there are NO eggs in it. I read that it's made in a "tall soda glass" and whipped with a "malt spoon" and if you're wondering "who the heck has those things in their kitchen?" the answer is: me.


We got our recipe right here and it was seriously good!!!!

So, here we go :)

Chocolate Egg Cream

Here's what you need:

*1/2 cup of cold whole milk (skim won't foam up as well)
*cup of seltzer water or club soda
*2 Tablespoons of chocolate syrup
*Tall glass and long handled spoon



Here's what you do

*Pour your milk into your glass

*Add your seltzer/club soda. It will foam up!

*very, very carefully pour chocolate syrup in down the side of the glass

*stir only the bottom where the chocolate milk is...if you do it right, it will look like this

Verdict: DELICIOUS!

Something New: Reading Through The Year

So many people I know have made the New Year's Resolution to read more. I read a ton as it is (when I have time!), and I don't make New Year's Resolutions, but I have decided I want to read more with Ella. So...here's what we're doing. We'll be keeping track of which books we've read together. (She reads with her Dad too, and they are making their way through The Boxcar Children series)


Here's what we have read and are reading so far (I will update the list as we go) We are aiming for 50 books this year!!!!

1) "Wait Til Helen Comes" by Mary Downing Hahn (Done)
2) Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh (Done)
3) Missing Grace, A Kit Kittredge Mystery by Elizabeth McDavid Jones (Done)
4) The Boxcar Children; Blue Bay Mystery by Gertrude Chandler Warner (Done)
5) The Boxcar Children: Mike's Mystery by Gertrude Chandler Warner (Done)
6) The Boxcar Children: Lighthouse Mystery by Gertrude Chandler Warner (Done)
7) Backyard Angel by Judy Delton (Done)
8) The Boxcar Children: The Woodshed Mystery by Gertrude Chandler Warner (Done)
9) The Boxcar Children: The Mystery Behind the Wall by Gertrude Chandler Warner (Done)
10) The Mystery of Smuggler's Cove by Paul Moxham (Done)
11) Wayside School is Falling Down by Louis Sachar (Done)
12) Sideways Stories from Wayside School by Louis Sachar (Done)
13) Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger by Louis Sachar (Done)
14) Howliday Inn by James Howe (Done)
15) Nighty Nightmare by James Howe (Done)
16) Return to Howliday Inn by James Howe (Done)

Desperation in the Kitchen: Lo Mein

Have you ever wondered "What the heck am I going to do with all of this leftover fettucine?"
Because that was me this morning. I made fettucine alfredo the other day and I'm not a fan of mixing noodles and sauce together. Call it kitchen OCD (because I have kitchen OCD) or just plain craziness (because, well, I've got that too). So, after my husband was done eating, I had zero sauce left and a bunch of noodles.

And sometime, somewhere, I saw a recipe for lo mein (which I loooooove) using leftover fettucine. Trying to find it, though frustrated the everloving life of out me because 1) everything I found called for stuff I had never heard of and 2) a trip to the grocery to find stuff that I have never heard of gave me a headache and kind of made me want to cry. I take my cooking very seriously, ya'll.

I did go to the grocery and I bought the only thing that sounded good. Sun-bird beef and broccoli seasoning. Yup. And then I decided I was going to totally wing it.


So, here we go. Chicken Lo Mein

Here's what you need:

*chicken, cut into strips
*rice vinegar
*soy sauce
*worcestershire sauce
*sun-bird beef and broccoli seasoning
*water
*garlic
*various veggies (I had mushrooms, cabbage, onions and red peppers)
*leftover fettucine


Here's what you do

*make a marinade from the garlic, rice vinegar, soy sauce and worcestershire sauce, and water. Cut your chicken into small pieces and throw into a ziploc bag with the marinade.

Let that mess marinate for at least an hour.


After an hour....
Warm up some olive oil. Drain most of the marinade, and dump the chicken and a bit of the marinade into your skillet. Let your chicken brown.

Chop up your various veggies.

Throw them in with the chicken, and give everything a mix to combine.

Combine your sun-bird seasoning, some worcestershire sauce, some soy sauce, some rice vinegar and water. (I don't do precise measurement so you'll have to eyeball it) . Whisk everything together and pour in the pan.

Heat through, and you are done! the sauce thickens up nicely :)

Delicious!!!!